Right now? Just dealing with the fact I’ve had an issue with clinginess and anxiety and more in every relationship since I was a young lass. Lol I’m sort of having a self revelation and change sort of day. Even though its stepping out of my comfort. How about you?
There are some things I need to work on as a person to fully have success in not only this relationship but also for my own personal life.
I have to stop being so emotional and clingy.
I have to trust in him and know he will never forget me and when we communicate through phone no matter what he will get back to me.
I have to start talking to more of the people I haven’t in awhile and get back to having a social life. It’s not healthy to have one person as your life and only entertainment because when they’re feeling shitty you are too.
I need to get my personal shit together meaning driving and school and all that jazz. I’ve been slacking and brushing that off my shoulder instead of my emotional anxiety filled mess.
I need to not let my emotions get the best of me and be more logical. I don’t need to always be such a brat and always crying like I need attention. I need a life and to enjoy my alone time and to not suffocate my boyfriend to the point where he doesn’t miss me.
I need to get these bad thoughts out of my head and always second guessing everything. I always think so badly of us when we’re doing good and that’s what makes me so emotional. He’s a human being too with feelings and necessities I can’t always fill and he loves me and cares for me otherwise he wouldn’t be here. No guy has stuck this long with me in a long time.
I need to get back to appreciating the smaller things in life. I’ve been neglecting my reading and video games and my blog and more. I haven’t had some quality personal time and be content at the same time in awhile. I always feel content around my boyfriend but away from him and I’m insane. I need to understand not to cling.
There is good and bad types of crazy and I am both. I need to be a solid good crazy because no one likes the bad because bad turns into slasher movies. No one likes that.
That’s all I can think of right now but I feel like I’ll expand it. I have so many things I wanna do with my life and so many places I wanna go and I not only wanna share that experience with my boyfriend but with myself too. At the end of the day I have to be happy with the person inside of me that I’m going to bed with and no matter if I’m sleeping by myself or with him, I have me always to deal with for the rest of my life. And the way I portray myself and set myself with people is my decision of whether I choose to push away or embrace. Life is all about making decisions to better yourself and to grow so you can fully appreciate and live all of the beautiful things it has to offer. Even the world has its cracks just like us. But through effort and growth I can do what I want not only with my mind but with my soul too. I need to be a better woman for not only my boyfriend but for my family and friends and most importantly, myself. Sorry for the rant. Just a lot of stuff has been happening..